The Benefits of PRODUCT

Guest post from sponsor, Mitch Leer.

Hey everyone!
​
​PRODUCT just got more awesome.

Now PRODUCT comes in a range of sizes and flavors, for all body shapes and weathers. All PRODUCTS are fully machine-washable and come with a 3-year guarantee.

If you don't have your PRODUCT yet, what's wrong with you? Perhaps you think you're too good for PRODUCT. 

I used to be like you. I'm shaking my head, remembering how lame I was. I've had my PRODUCT for over a year now and I've not looked back. You'll know when the time is right for you to get your PRODUCT. I did.

Don't just take my word for it.

When surveyed, 8 out of 10 PRODUCT owners couldn't imagine living without PRODUCT. In other words, they'd rather die than not have PRODUCT.

Here are some advantages of our PRODUCT over other products:

* Instant sex appeal. We don't need to explain this.
* Connect to other people who also have PRODUCT. With PRODUCT you'll literally be more isolated than ever, but you'll never feel it.
* Our PRODUCT fits in a back pocket. No-one knows its there unless you want them to.
* PRODUCT dismantles within seconds for easy cleaning.
* PRODUCT runs silently on one rechargeable battery.
* PRODUCT tastes great and won't leave you feeling bloated like other products that are essentially the same.


Sick of seeing all your friends with their PRODUCTS and wish that you had one too? Afforable loans are available to finance your purchase of a PRODUCT today.

According to the latest statistics from PRODUCT MANUFACTURER, 95% of people who have purchased a PRODUCT have better, more successful lives. PRODUCT places you above the law. People will just think you're cheeky. That's the power of PRODUCT. 

If you've read this far and you still haven't registered for your PRODUCT, you might be beyond help.

CLICK HERE NOW.

No?

...

You're worthless. 

You don't deserve PRODUCT.

PRODUCT wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire.


PRODUCT makes for happier children. Even if you're not sure about PRODUCT, think about your children. Imagine how different your life would have been if your parents had been PRODUCT parents.

People have been buying PRODUCTS like crazy for years now, so if you don't have one yet, you'll have to keep waxing on. That's an in-joke about PRODUCT, but you wouldn't know that, you sad, sad bastard.

God damn you.

God damn you to hell. 

You don't deserve our PRODUCTS. People like you give PRODUCT a bad name. 

Tell you what - click away. Click away now. 

PRODUCT is for special people who want to be sex on legs and have massive networks on social media with which to share PRODUCT including a handful of real people that just drop in unannounced  with beers and wear bright colours and yet white trousers and one of them should be sort of ethnicky but no disabilities please, because that's a ball-ache, and they laugh in public with their heads thrown back and their perfectly white, straight teeth and roller skates. 

If this is you, and you don't already have PRODUCT, CLICK HERE before I lose my fucking rag. 

If this does NOT describe you, I'll be there in five to perform your personalised demonstration of PRODUCT.

CLICK HERE to cancel me now.