DEAN CLAYTON EDWARDS
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Child's Play

3/8/2021

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A weird kids' toy. It looks like a plastic, five-tier wedding cake, though much more colourful. I lift it and set it down, considering whether to throw it out.

It's connected to a TV show about a female, amateur detective. Finding a clip on my phone, the theme tune starts. Hearing the theme tune, the toy whirrs and its tiers start spinning.

Wow.

There is a doll of the main character in a separate box. She has a changeable face. One way up, she is an old woman with fat cheeks and her eyes closed. Push the button at the back, however, and she becomes young, with sparkling green eyes.

Pushing the button, the face half spins, but then sort of mechanically eats itself. There is just grey and white plastic, like sticklebrick, where the face should be.

I remove the head from the doll and try to adjust it. No joy.

Seeing that the top tier of the spinning toy has a picture of a face, I put the doll head into it. It opens its doors, grabs it with plastic hands, swallows it, shuts the doors, spins, spins. When the door opens again, the head is gone.

"What?!??"

I try to force open another door in a lower tier and it almost breaks my fingers. My hand gets caught up in the gears and there is no release until it's ready. The motor is so powerful it would shatter wood or bone before stopping for a moment.

Intriguing. I decide to keep the thing and look for instructions, but it's no kids' toy. It's dangerous.
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